Istanbul, 2 February 2016, 16:36
by Marta Moslw
“Marta, when will you realise that all that magic you see around is actually coming from you?”
I stared at her with confusion. She knew I was waiting for an explanation. I knew a long one was about to come…
“Yes, dear. You need to realise that the magic you see in all these fascinating people you meet is just a mere reflection of your own magic, a reflection of yourself.”
I had missed these deep conversations so much…
“I’m not saying that all these people aren’t special, of course they are, but you need to realise that what you see in them comes actually from yourself. It’s you the one who projects that magic on them, it’s your presence what makes them shine. They act just like mirrors, reflecting that magic they receive back on you. They glitter, they sparkle. Their glow fascinates you, it inspires you and nurtures your own magic, which again, travels back to them making them shine brighter and brighter, in a neverending exchange of energy which keeps eternally growing.”
I was listening to her in astonishment. Such idea had never crossed my mind, yet somehow it made perfect sense. After all, if we perceive the world as a fascinating and magical place… aren’t we the authors of this image? aren’t we the ones looking at it in that way? doesn’t this actually makes it become a reflection of ourselves, of our own energy??
Her voice interrupted my inner talk…
“Now you have become an artist, Marta. You’ve always been one, but now that artist has gained confidence to come out and expose herself. It’s time for you to stop hiding yourself behind others. It’s time for you to stop using other people as mirrors in which to reflect yourself and your art. Now it’s time for you to show yourself to the world, to have your own voice. And by this, I don’t mean you should stop writing about me or about our time together. You can continue doing so, if you like. But you could also start writing about other people that inspire you, other stories that happen to you, you can share your thoughts, your reflections, your drawings and photographs… whatever you want! The world is such a big place… the possibilities are endless!!”
Her enthusiasm was truly contagious. She had set myself free after Paris and she was now trying to push me to continue flying on my own, to go beyond my boundaries, to keep growing bigger than I could have ever imagined…
I smiled at her, probably slightly blushing after listening to her praises. Inside me, my heart was beating with excitement, pride and confidence; feelings I hadn’t experienced for a very long while. Maybe she was right. Maybe I had finally become that artist…
“I felt something very powerful inside me the day you left and I felt it again later on, while I was writing those entries. That day, I saw my whole time in Paris flash before my eyes. I felt an avalanche of feelings invading my whole body and mind. Then amazing, almost magical things started to happen around me. I felt everything had changed forever… myself, my energy, my whole life.
It might sound weird to you, but looking back, I now feel as if the fact that you left was key to complete my transformation. It seems as if it all was part of a carefully designed plan. While writing those entries I realised that you had to leave for the artist in me to finish revealling herself at last. I was left alone and I could no longer hide myself behind you or use you as a mirror to reflect my art. When you left, it was me and only me. Those entries are more about myself than any of the others. They are my feelings, my thoughts… When I first started filmmakerinparis it was meant to be a place to share my drawings of you; however some kind of energy pushed me to give up drawing and start writing instead. Maybe you had to come, turn my whole life upside down and then leave, for me to find out that writing is my calling, that words are my element.”
I could see pure joy and amazement in her eyes. There was no doubt that we were both going through some kind of ephiphany together that morning. Hours that felt like minutes, of connection with the divine within us.
“That is just so beautiful, Marta. And it makes so much sense… This is a new period of your life and you should maybe start something new to reflect that, a new project. It could be a new blog maybe… somewhere where you can write about your time in Istanbul and about all the amazing things you will discover and experience here!”
“Maybe you’re right… I’ve been wanting to start my own blog or website for years, but I never got the courage to do so. Maybe now is the right time… somehow everything seems to perfectly fit in.” It didn’t take me long to make up my mind… “Yes! I think I’ll go for it!” I couldn’t control my excitement. From the very beginning I knew my idea to join Ece in Istanbul would bring amazing things to our lives again. “There is only one more thing… how should I name it!?”
Istanbul (Cihangir), 23 January 2016
by Ece Ger